alchemenace | week 3, sunday w/ evan

Close... right.

[ he's staring at his hands again. ]

It's, um, don't, it-- [ he takes a breath ] It wasn't your fault. [ unless he voted for yams but varian isn't going down. that path. ] ...But thanks.

N-No, I know it wasn't my fault, just - sorry that it, it happened. You know.

[He slides down slightly so he's seated on the staircase rather than leaning on a railing. He can't change what happened, but...]

Do you... need anything? Anything I can do?

Edited 2018-07-01 19:47 (UTC)

Yeah. I know.

[ he looks at evan out of the corner of his eyes when he next answers: ]

No, I don't. I don't think so-- [ wait ] ... Evan, what's your objective?

[ well that's random. ]

[He pauses, blinking. It isn't that he doesn't trust Varian with that information, but first...]

...Um, why?

[ there's a quick pause as he frowns, mulling it over, before admitting: ]

Ion's letter was just proof of something the Princess and I heard about. [ he bites at his lip ] The happy ending Dragon spoke of, the one where, where people can come back? It requires us to collect ink. ... A lot of it. The, the least violent [ let's go with that. ] way to do that is by completing objectives.

[He nods, and he... doesn't seem too surprised by that.]

Someone, someone told me last week already. [...] If you want what's... least violent, my objective might not be, be the best.

[ that... gets some kind of laughter from him. ]

You and-- and everyone else I talk to. [ well. fuck. ] ... How bad is it?

...I'm supposed to convince three people to break the rules, which means those three people will get - punished.

[And, considering what happened to Stephanie just a few hours ago... He sighs, running a hand over his face.]

Oh, that's. That's not so bad. [ honestly. compared to some he knows. ] The Princess actually had to kill someone.

[ MIGHT AS WELL OUT HER!!! ]

Tiger said the same rule being broken twice is what got Stephanie that-- [ his voice breaks and he swallows, hiding his face for a second. it's fine. he's going to puke again. ] that punishment. The first time, Natsuo just. Went to the stocks, right? So if we. If we find three different rules, maybe. Maybe.

[ he sighs, long and drawn out too ]

I don't know.

[He almost asks, instinctively, if she followed through on that, but it only takes a second of thought to realize Rapunzel wouldn't have done that. He shrugs.]

...Maybe. I don't know. It depends if anyone would even go along with it. I might just... I don't know. I'll ask if I can just do it three times or something, or if it has to be separate people.

[ Varian is correcting himself absent-mindedly: ] Kill someone while dancing. It was specific.

[ anyway, for the rest of it... ]

If it's separate people, I could do one.

[ there's no hesitation there because. this child. lmao. ]

[He blinks, but immediately shakes his head.]

No. No, that's - no. We'll figure something out, okay? So... No.

Are you serious right now? Evan, I'm offering. I've done a lot worse than break some rules for a lot less. [ he gestures to his still bandaged arm ]

[He sounds... frustrated as he continues, even if he doesn't think he should be. It's not really Varian that's making him frustrated, anyways, it's everything else.]

You shouldn't get hurt any worse than you already have, okay? Just...

I don't care about that. I just-- I just want to make things right.

Yeah, well, I care about that even if you don't, okay? She made me promise to... To try and make sure that you'd, that you wouldn't...

[He trails off, but he imagines the meaning will be clear enough.]

[ he. sneers, at that. ]

Of course she did. Of course she-- [ he slams his fist against the stairs. ] Her and her promises--

[ it's fine. he's fine. he takes a breath and brings his knees up, hiding his face in them ]

What does it matter anyway? If we don't get that "happy ending", what's the use in me not getting hurt?

[He'll regret saying these next words as soon as they're out of his mouth, something that's all too familiar to him. All the same, his voice is heated as he speaks.]

I'm not saying I won't do it, I'm saying that, that anyone can do this. It doesn't have to be you, and I'm not going against what she wanted so that you can feel like you're doing something important, okay? I'm not.

[And then, as soon as it's out there, the realization of how cruel that sounded strikes. Through an exhale:]

I didn't mean... That, that came out wrong, I didn't...

[ the entire time Evan is talking, Varian is just curling in on himself more, grabbing at his pants and clenching them. it's when he's trying to apologize that he finally answers, turning to look at evan with a glare and snapping: ]

I don't care what she wanted, she's dead! She should've thought about that before making other people make stupid promises they couldn't keep!

[ he stands up in such a hurry that his raccoon has to scramble to not fall to the ground ]

Do you think everything here is just going to solve itself? Someone has to do something. We all have to do something. I don't care about being important, and I don't care what happens to me. If you want to stand in my way out of some-- some misguided attempt to "protect" me because that's what the Princess "would've wanted", fine. But I can tell you right now that none of that is going to matter if she stays dead because you were too scared to do anything useful!

[ and unlike evan, varian does not seem to feel bad about that. he's walking away :/ ]

Edited 2018-07-01 23:07 (UTC)

[He listens and watches with dismay, guilt crawling up his chest. He doesn't feel like he deserves to follow after him, to pursue him; if Varian doesn't want to be around him any more right now, he wouldn't begrudge him that.

All the same, he deserves a proper apology. Evan stands up as well, and as Varian starts to walk away, he calls after him.]

Varian, wait, I didn't... I'm sorry.

[In the end, he leaves the decision about whether he'll continue onwards or come back to Varian himself. He won't force him.]

[ he stops at the apology and turns after, though the look on his face isn't much different from before he started walking. ]

Why did you come see me, Evan? Because she asked you to take care of me? To protect me? What could you even do?

No. No, that's not... I would have come even if she didn't ask me to.

[That's at least part of it, but there's something else, too. He can't do anything, and he knows it. Still...]

Nobody... Nobody should have to be alone after that if they don't want to be. That's all.

[ he takes a deep breath. ]

If... If this was your idea of comfort, you are really not doing a bang up job. [ but he stays where he's at. ] ... Look. If the only way to save everyone here is to fulfill objectives, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Even if I get hurt. [ a beat ] Except dying. I do not wanna do that. [ let's just. be legit there. ] ... Don't you?

No, I-I know, that... wasn't great. I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry. Really sorry.

[The apology, at least, sounds sincere enough, and he makes sure he sounds calmer when he continues.]

Of course I do, and... I know you want to help, and that's not a bad thing. I just - it's not that I don't think you can handle it, but there are a lot of people who aren't already hurt and probably wouldn't mind helping, either. You know? I mean, i-if it was anyone other than yourself, you wouldn't want an already injured person to get hurt even worse, right?

[ he makes a face ]

I'm not injured anymore. [ he lifts his bandaged arm with a wince ] I'm keeping it like this because of nerve damage. Someone healed me, but... because of how their healing works, we had to stop it suddenly, and... something went wrong, I guess. I'm trying to see if pressure helps.

[ that's. that's kind of an injury, varian. ]

My-- my point is, I get what you're saying, but if you're looking for non-injured willing volunteers, you're. Going to keep looking a long time.

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