alchemenace | week 3, sunday w/ evan

[He does, indeed, approach.

He has no idea what to say or do in this situation, but - this is, very literally, the least that he can do. He doesn't take a seat yet, but he does stop near where Varian sits on the staircase, leaning lightly against the railing. He won't ask him if he's alright, because he clearly isn't, and it's not as though it isn't for good reason. Still...]

...Do you want to, to be alone?

[He doesn't want to make things worse, so he'll at least ask. His own voice is soft, trying not to tremble.]

[ Honestly, Varian doesn't expect Evan to stop, so it takes a minute to register. He looks at him blankly before turning back to stare at his hands. ]

... No. No, I've been alone enough.

[ there's something bitter underlying that, but he doesn't expand on it. it's as much of an invitation as evan is going to get ]

Okay.

[He pauses after that, words failing to come, as he digs his fingers into the fabric of his pants.]

We don't have to, to talk about it, but...

[The invitation is there, though it's unspoken; they don't have to talk about it, but if Varian wants to, he'll listen.]

I don't know what to say about it.

[ all of it, really. ]

You were friends with her, right?

[ he figures most people here were, honestly, but. he's pretty sure he saw her and evan hanging out at least once. ]

[He gives a nod.]

Yeah. Not, not as close as the two of you were, but - we were friends.

[He wills his voice not to crack, but it doesn't quite work.]

I'm really... really sorry, Varian.

Close... right.

[ he's staring at his hands again. ]

It's, um, don't, it-- [ he takes a breath ] It wasn't your fault. [ unless he voted for yams but varian isn't going down. that path. ] ...But thanks.

N-No, I know it wasn't my fault, just - sorry that it, it happened. You know.

[He slides down slightly so he's seated on the staircase rather than leaning on a railing. He can't change what happened, but...]

Do you... need anything? Anything I can do?

Edited 2018-07-01 19:47 (UTC)

Yeah. I know.

[ he looks at evan out of the corner of his eyes when he next answers: ]

No, I don't. I don't think so-- [ wait ] ... Evan, what's your objective?

[ well that's random. ]

[He pauses, blinking. It isn't that he doesn't trust Varian with that information, but first...]

...Um, why?

[ there's a quick pause as he frowns, mulling it over, before admitting: ]

Ion's letter was just proof of something the Princess and I heard about. [ he bites at his lip ] The happy ending Dragon spoke of, the one where, where people can come back? It requires us to collect ink. ... A lot of it. The, the least violent [ let's go with that. ] way to do that is by completing objectives.

[He nods, and he... doesn't seem too surprised by that.]

Someone, someone told me last week already. [...] If you want what's... least violent, my objective might not be, be the best.

[ that... gets some kind of laughter from him. ]

You and-- and everyone else I talk to. [ well. fuck. ] ... How bad is it?

...I'm supposed to convince three people to break the rules, which means those three people will get - punished.

[And, considering what happened to Stephanie just a few hours ago... He sighs, running a hand over his face.]

Oh, that's. That's not so bad. [ honestly. compared to some he knows. ] The Princess actually had to kill someone.

[ MIGHT AS WELL OUT HER!!! ]

Tiger said the same rule being broken twice is what got Stephanie that-- [ his voice breaks and he swallows, hiding his face for a second. it's fine. he's going to puke again. ] that punishment. The first time, Natsuo just. Went to the stocks, right? So if we. If we find three different rules, maybe. Maybe.

[ he sighs, long and drawn out too ]

I don't know.

[He almost asks, instinctively, if she followed through on that, but it only takes a second of thought to realize Rapunzel wouldn't have done that. He shrugs.]

...Maybe. I don't know. It depends if anyone would even go along with it. I might just... I don't know. I'll ask if I can just do it three times or something, or if it has to be separate people.

[ Varian is correcting himself absent-mindedly: ] Kill someone while dancing. It was specific.

[ anyway, for the rest of it... ]

If it's separate people, I could do one.

[ there's no hesitation there because. this child. lmao. ]

[He blinks, but immediately shakes his head.]

No. No, that's - no. We'll figure something out, okay? So... No.

Are you serious right now? Evan, I'm offering. I've done a lot worse than break some rules for a lot less. [ he gestures to his still bandaged arm ]

[He sounds... frustrated as he continues, even if he doesn't think he should be. It's not really Varian that's making him frustrated, anyways, it's everything else.]

You shouldn't get hurt any worse than you already have, okay? Just...

I don't care about that. I just-- I just want to make things right.

Yeah, well, I care about that even if you don't, okay? She made me promise to... To try and make sure that you'd, that you wouldn't...

[He trails off, but he imagines the meaning will be clear enough.]

[ he. sneers, at that. ]

Of course she did. Of course she-- [ he slams his fist against the stairs. ] Her and her promises--

[ it's fine. he's fine. he takes a breath and brings his knees up, hiding his face in them ]

What does it matter anyway? If we don't get that "happy ending", what's the use in me not getting hurt?

[He'll regret saying these next words as soon as they're out of his mouth, something that's all too familiar to him. All the same, his voice is heated as he speaks.]

I'm not saying I won't do it, I'm saying that, that anyone can do this. It doesn't have to be you, and I'm not going against what she wanted so that you can feel like you're doing something important, okay? I'm not.

[And then, as soon as it's out there, the realization of how cruel that sounded strikes. Through an exhale:]

I didn't mean... That, that came out wrong, I didn't...

[ the entire time Evan is talking, Varian is just curling in on himself more, grabbing at his pants and clenching them. it's when he's trying to apologize that he finally answers, turning to look at evan with a glare and snapping: ]

I don't care what she wanted, she's dead! She should've thought about that before making other people make stupid promises they couldn't keep!

[ he stands up in such a hurry that his raccoon has to scramble to not fall to the ground ]

Do you think everything here is just going to solve itself? Someone has to do something. We all have to do something. I don't care about being important, and I don't care what happens to me. If you want to stand in my way out of some-- some misguided attempt to "protect" me because that's what the Princess "would've wanted", fine. But I can tell you right now that none of that is going to matter if she stays dead because you were too scared to do anything useful!

[ and unlike evan, varian does not seem to feel bad about that. he's walking away :/ ]

Edited 2018-07-01 23:07 (UTC)

[He listens and watches with dismay, guilt crawling up his chest. He doesn't feel like he deserves to follow after him, to pursue him; if Varian doesn't want to be around him any more right now, he wouldn't begrudge him that.

All the same, he deserves a proper apology. Evan stands up as well, and as Varian starts to walk away, he calls after him.]

Varian, wait, I didn't... I'm sorry.

[In the end, he leaves the decision about whether he'll continue onwards or come back to Varian himself. He won't force him.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject