week 3, sunday w/ evan

[alchemenace]

[ so Varian is just kind. sitting down on a staircase staring at his hands. with his raccoon on his shoulders. he looks less sad and more like he's... seething, a bit. rudiger looks very concerned with this.

approach? ]

Comments

[alchemenace]

[ the entire time Evan is talking, Varian is just curling in on himself more, grabbing at his pants and clenching them. it's when he's trying to apologize that he finally answers, turning to look at evan with a glare and snapping: ]

I don't care what she wanted, she's dead! She should've thought about that before making other people make stupid promises they couldn't keep!

[ he stands up in such a hurry that his raccoon has to scramble to not fall to the ground ]

Do you think everything here is just going to solve itself? Someone has to do something. We all have to do something. I don't care about being important, and I don't care what happens to me. If you want to stand in my way out of some-- some misguided attempt to "protect" me because that's what the Princess "would've wanted", fine. But I can tell you right now that none of that is going to matter if she stays dead because you were too scared to do anything useful!

[ and unlike evan, varian does not seem to feel bad about that. he's walking away :/ ]

[selfinserting]

[He listens and watches with dismay, guilt crawling up his chest. He doesn't feel like he deserves to follow after him, to pursue him; if Varian doesn't want to be around him any more right now, he wouldn't begrudge him that.

All the same, he deserves a proper apology. Evan stands up as well, and as Varian starts to walk away, he calls after him.]

Varian, wait, I didn't... I'm sorry.

[In the end, he leaves the decision about whether he'll continue onwards or come back to Varian himself. He won't force him.]

[alchemenace]

[ he stops at the apology and turns after, though the look on his face isn't much different from before he started walking. ]

Why did you come see me, Evan? Because she asked you to take care of me? To protect me? What could you even do?

[selfinserting]

No. No, that's not... I would have come even if she didn't ask me to.

[That's at least part of it, but there's something else, too. He can't do anything, and he knows it. Still...]

Nobody... Nobody should have to be alone after that if they don't want to be. That's all.

[alchemenace]

[ he takes a deep breath. ]

If... If this was your idea of comfort, you are really not doing a bang up job. [ but he stays where he's at. ] ... Look. If the only way to save everyone here is to fulfill objectives, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Even if I get hurt. [ a beat ] Except dying. I do not wanna do that. [ let's just. be legit there. ] ... Don't you?

[selfinserting]

No, I-I know, that... wasn't great. I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry. Really sorry.

[The apology, at least, sounds sincere enough, and he makes sure he sounds calmer when he continues.]

Of course I do, and... I know you want to help, and that's not a bad thing. I just - it's not that I don't think you can handle it, but there are a lot of people who aren't already hurt and probably wouldn't mind helping, either. You know? I mean, i-if it was anyone other than yourself, you wouldn't want an already injured person to get hurt even worse, right?

[alchemenace]

[ he makes a face ]

I'm not injured anymore. [ he lifts his bandaged arm with a wince ] I'm keeping it like this because of nerve damage. Someone healed me, but... because of how their healing works, we had to stop it suddenly, and... something went wrong, I guess. I'm trying to see if pressure helps.

[ that's. that's kind of an injury, varian. ]

My-- my point is, I get what you're saying, but if you're looking for non-injured willing volunteers, you're. Going to keep looking a long time.

[selfinserting]

What, nerve damage isn't an injury?

[He shakes his head.]

I'm not hurt, and Dazai isn't, and Veronica isn't, and they all know already. So - that's three already, if I count as one.

[alchemenace]

It's more annoying than an injury.

[ nerve damage is painful and he refuses to admit it. but... hm. hrm. hrmm. ]

... Alright, fine. If you count as one, then-- then V and Dazai aren't bad choices. But if you need someone, I'll do it, okay? Don't... don't write me off if it's the only way.

[selfinserting]

[He nods, before something comes to him.]

Hey, how about... I-If we finish an objective, we get a new one, right? If my next one is safer, you can help me out with it.

[But, also.]

...Did you tell me what yours is?

[alchemenace]

Yeaaaah I can't do it. Similar to the Princess, mine is kind of. Murder-y. In nature.

[ let's just go with that. ]

[selfinserting]

[A sigh.]

...I’m sorry, man. That sucks.

[alchemenace]

That's kind of the subtitle of my stay here. [ that's. about all he's got on that. ] It's fine. I don't... I don't care who fulfills their objectives so long as we get enough.

[selfinserting]

...Yeah. Maybe - if we're supposed to get extra wishes for each objective we complete, maybe I could use it to make sure the next one I get doesn't involve anyone needing to get hurt or killed, too.

[alchemenace]

That... might be a good idea. Though I suppose that depends on whether or not you get the token before your next objective. But after the second one you could definitely do it?

[ this is not a solid plan. ]

[selfinserting]

Yeah. And if it doesn't work for the second one, I guess I can hope the second one isn't too bad?

[alchemenace]

Sure. Maybe it'll be ... less difficult after the first.

[ there's no belief here ]

[selfinserting]

Some people have nice ones, right? Like... Making friends, or - kissing people. That's not as, as bad.

[alchemenace]

Kissing people became bring back a stolen object, so I think they're... exponential. But maybe not?

[selfinserting]

Well, I kind of hope not? So. We'll see. Once I, I know what it is, I'll tell you.

[alchemenace]

[ for some reason, that makes varian smile. ]

Yeah, okay, yeah. I'll hold you to that.

[selfinserting]

[He nods.]

And - you've got dibs on the next one, if it's something I need a hand with. Promise.

[alchemenace]

Don't... promise me anything.

[ that's reflexive, and he takes a breath afterwards. ]

If I can help, I will. If you don't need me, that's fine too. I told you. I just, I just want these done.

[selfinserting]

...Right. I - sorry. I didn't mean to, um, you know.

[alchemenace]

Don't-- don't, um. Don't worry about it? It's... It's been a long day.