alchemenace | week 2; tuesday w/ fane

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fane

week 2; tuesday w/ fane

[ well varian has had quite The Day and he wants to just go die under the covers now thanks. partially because of pain, partially from guilt, but mostly because wow boy is he really embarrassed.

unfortunately for him, his partner never sleeps, so. he awkwardly waves with his one good arm when he sees Fane ]

... Heyyyyyy.

[ smooth. ]

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Precisely! And yet, it's an exceedingly rare trait. It's disappointing just how few scholars I've run into...

[ He shakes his head with a sigh, since even though that's not quite what Varian is, it's close enough for Fane. Eternals don't really make a further distinction than that. ]

Well, regardless. Temper some of that curiosity with caution. [ After he says that, he pauses a little more, then adds a little more gently: ] Research can only take you so far. There are some things it is not worth.

[ he's a bit flattered at being described as a scholar, but it's short lived as fane's gentle reminder makes him feel worse than anything else he could've said or done. he grabs at his bandaged arm and looks away ]

Yeah. I know. I don't ... It's not like I want to die here. But if we don't figure things out, we might die anyway.

[ It wasn't quite Fane's intention, and as soon as he sees Varian deflate slightly, he's quick to try and explain further. Being vague was largely for his own reasons. ]

Well... Not quite that. I was speaking in a bit too wide of a sense.

[ He crosses his arms ]

Here, it may very well be worth pursuing in full. The risk and reward is, well. Dire. I meant it for my experience. My own pursuit is what led me to this. [ He motions to himself, clearly meaning the whole skeleton thing ]

[ ~~not featured: me checking the date on this pc~~ varian understands risk and reward to research more than he wants to admit (to himself, mainly), but that ... takes him by surprise. ]

I, I thought you said you were locked in a crypt?

I was. But that was not by my hand.

[ He scoffs, since unsurprisingly, this is a sore point for him ]

It was my king. Or, former king, since my loyalty to him ended the moment he threw me in that tomb. I did nothing wrong, and I don't regret pursuing my research, but— [ He pauses, hesitates, then continues more softly. Regretfully, even. ] ...But because my king was too ignorant to understand, because he feared what he didn't understand, I lost everything.

[ There's a small silence, and he adds: ]

As much as I loved my work, I do not think it was worth this. Even if I find my family, I will never feel their touch again. I will never be who I was, and so it will never be the same.

[ There's a lot in what Fane says that resonates with Varian. Of course there's everything to do with his king, but even more than that, what he says about his family...

He stretches out his arm and puts his hand on Fane's elbow (because that is about as high as he can reach) in an attempt at comfort he knows the man can't feel, though he hopes the sentiment is enough. ]

I might not know all the details, but I know you didn't deserve that. But. Your family... They'd still be glad to see you again. I know that much.

[ it's not much of a reassurance, because there's not much to say to fane's fate. it's facts, after all. Varian takes his hand off, a slight furrow to his brow: ]

I wonder if that's just how royalty is everywhere. The, the fear, the ignorance. The selfishness. [ and that might be projecting a bit, which he knows, but he sighs and continues: ] The King back home, he's lied to everyone in Corona, put them all in danger, simply because he doesn't want to deal with the truth.

[ it's more details about his circumstances than he's given anyone else in the castle so far, and part of him still feels worried about it, even though he knows it's very likely fane will see some of those memories this week, and even less likely that fane will turn on him for it, if only because of their partnership. still. ]

[ Fane isn't quite surprised at Varian's kind words and the gesture, since he knew the story would resonate with him. Not the extent, but it's clear enough that they're similar, and therefore, similar enough that Varian could very well fall into the pitfalls that Fane had. It's a story shared more as a warning then looking for sympathy, yet he finds that he does appreciate it. ]

Thank you.

[ It's all he says to the comfort, since, well. There isn't much else he can say to it, but it's genuine thanks.

That, and it's way easier to hate on shitty kings than to open up about emotions lbr ]

It very well may be. I would have once said that it's the best form of governance, but-- [ He shakes his head ] No, it cannot be. Your king seems quite similar. The problem with a single person in charge is that their mistakes and biases effect all. There is so much that can be lost to that.

[ that's also what varian thinks. shittalking it is. ]

Ha, heh, guess it's time to start looking into new form of governments.

[ He sighs heavily ]

Apparently so. When your king becomes a despot, then the entire system is much less charming.

[ Not that this is at all what happened to the Eternals, but Fane is 1) bitter 2) overdramatic ]

Hopefully some mortal has a better idea. Still all I've seen is monarchy, somehow!

That's definitely not all there is. Some people here don't have monarchies where they're from. I haven't asked much about it, but that could be something to keep in mind for later.

...Hm. You know, that may not be a bad idea.

[ He'd gotten that impression from his conversation about justice with Rebecca, at least. ]

If I'm to ascend to Divinity, well. It may be worthwhile to offer a suggestion to the mortals I rule over for something a little less fragile.

Right. It's that or you have to personally overthrow their monarchy whenever they make a bad decision, and, heh, that's going to be pretty constant.

[ He sighs ]

And that I would like to avoid. Divinity is one matter, but I hardly want to become some kind of God-King myself.

[ He groans in short displeasure, but shrugs ]

...Well. I suppose if there's such things to learn, then this place isn't a complete dearth of information.

I agree. Murdercastle isn't so bad if we can at least get something out of it.

[ which is part of why he got himself injured i remembered the context of this thread. he shrugs back at Fane ]

[ ok. but. ]

...Did I just hear you correctly? "Murdercastle"?

[ ....... nyeh :3? ]

That's what Stephie calls it. I mean, it's, it's accurate?

It is accurate, yes, but it is—

[ He pauses, since when he tries to think of a word for what this makes him feel, he truly can't find one. So. He'll just truly speak his mind. ]

I don't know. It irritates me, for some reason. It's quite a bit of levity for this place.

[ oh. hm. for varian, the levity is what makes it appealing. if he gave everything the appropriate gravitas it deserved, he wouldn't be able to handle it. it also became so much easier to deal with the things he did in corona when he was flippant about them, but he was downplaying issues a long time before that.

still, it's not like he's particularly attached to the term, so: ]

O-oh. Um. I can just not use it if you prefer?

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week 2; tuesday w/ fane

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